I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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