just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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