sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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