Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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