you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
