Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
