I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
