Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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