Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
