Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
and you fell through a lawn chair
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
