Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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