Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
