Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Of course I have a pirate flag
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
