whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
This toilet bowl is my home.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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