living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
