U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
