Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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