there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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