omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize