Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
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Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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