I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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