okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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