So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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