I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
