Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
