Sry I called you an 8
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So much rum. So many feels.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
