Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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