4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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