this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
