Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
