I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
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