It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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