So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
