D3 body, D1 cock
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
