escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
