This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
