Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize