He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
