I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
