Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize