I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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