did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
