Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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