eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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