DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
