I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
