This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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