Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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