And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Randomize
