Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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