he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
