i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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