Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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