She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
