Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
