where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize