Just mADE A PArabola og urine
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
