yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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