i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
