I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
