my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
